Feeling like you’re drowning in a sea of tasks and responsibilities can be overwhelming, especially when you’re already struggling with the constant mental chatter that comes with living with ADHD. For me, it’s like living in a state of perpetual mental fog when I have so many things running through my mind that need to be done. If you relate to this, you probably also get so overwhelmed with the long to-do list you’ve created for yourself that you end up doing none of it, while instead spending your day stressed that it needs to be done. At the end of the day, these tasks are still not complete, and then you’re sitting in the guilt you’ve allowed for yourself. Dread lists offer a beacon of hope, providing a way for those with executive dysfunction to break free from the exhausting cycle of indecision and make meaningful progress to avoid task paralysis.
The Dreaded Dread List
Before we dive into what to do with a dread list, let’s define it. A ‘dread list’ is a list of tasks or activities that you tend to dread or procrastinate due to various reasons such as fear, anxiety, or perceived lack of motivation. Dread lists are a great way to break down tasks, allowing yourself space to visualize the steps needed to reach your ultimate goal.
By creating a separate list for such tasks and breaking down each one, you can help manage your anxiety and avoid procrastination by tackling them incrementally. This allows you to make progress and eventually feel more confident and in control. As a type A human with autism, I LOVE a good to-do list. Nothing in the world makes me feel better than checking off my tasks for the day! Let’s talk about the steps to make a dread list work for you so you can feel just as satisfied with how you spent your time today.
The best time to start a dread list is when the crippling fear and anxiety over a daunting task comes to mind. Need to declutter your home? Need to do the dishes? Need to change the sheets on your bed? Make a dread list! The first step to creating a dread list is writing down the main goal you want to accomplish. I’m going to use “declutter the home” as an example because, let’s face it, this is my longest, most taxing dread list to date, and unfortunately it is one that needs to be done over and over and over again.
The Decluttering the Home Dread List
To break this down into small steps, I start by listing each room in the house as well as listing the outside of the house. I then start by looking at just one room, writing down the simple tasks first – the ones that can be completed in 5 minutes or less- before moving on to the more time-consuming tasks. When I make my list for the living room, I’ll write down clean the floors, scrape the rug, wipe down surfaces, etc. before moving onto the bigger tasks like donate books, donate movies, get rid of that chair that has no purpose and hasn’t been used for the last 3 years since I’ve lived here.
To make this list even better, I’ll take those big tasks and make them even SMALLER. To donate the books, I need to sort through every book to decide which ones I want to keep, I need to box up all the books I’m donating and sort them by where they’re being donated, I need to drop the books off at the public library, the little library in my neighborhood, and gift the books to friends and family that I think would enjoy them. Breaking the big tasks down into smaller tasks is important because the smaller the task is, the easier it seems to get done. For people with ADHD, it can be hard to focus on such a big task like “clean out my entire closet”. It can be a lot easier to: sort through tee-shirts, sort through pants, sort through socks, and throw away old underwear.
I highly recommend writing these lists down on a device. It is a-okay if you’re a paper person (I am too, honestly). However, it is easier to adjust your list when you inevitably forget to put something down or stumble across something else you see that needs to be done while you’re working on a completely irrelevant task. Let’s be honest with yourself, you’re, no doubt, going to forget something.
I Made a Dread List, Now What?
Now that you have taken your time to think about everything that needs to be done to complete your task and broken down the big tasks to a manageable level, you get to start working on completing them! Yay! I recommend going back to step 1 and doing the same thing you did when you created your list: start with the small tasks.
There is a lovely idea called the 2-minute declutter method that has been a game changer for me when I pair it with my dread list. The big idea of this method is to start with a task that will take 2 minutes or less. For instance, when I’m looking at my living room right now I can see a pair of shoes sitting there. Obviously, that is not their permanent home. It will take me less than 2 minutes to pick them up and put them in the closet where they belong.
The inspiration of the 2-minute declutter method is that once you get that simple, small task out of the way and can check that off your list as completed, you will have the motivation to continue the process and complete even more from your list! Now, as someone with ADHD, I understand how easy it is to get sidetracked. ‘I put my shoes away but I see I left my towel hanging in the closet. Let me just go ahead and put that back in the bathroom. Ope, now I see that the incense ashes are kinda messy; let me clean that up really quick.” I am going to urge you to push back on this instinct. When you find yourself getting distracted, go back to your list! This can help you avoid getting overwhelmed and reverting back to executive dysfunction.
Tackle Your Task Paralysis
It can be easy to get caught up in knowing there is so much to be done and not knowing where to start. Using tools like a dread list and the 2-minute declutter method are some ways to help take the pressure off of yourself and find the courage and motivation to get the things done that you want to complete. Whether you need to declutter the house, pay down your debt, finish your degree, or do the dishes, everything can be done when you come at it with a plan. It may just be my autism speaking, but I love a to-do list. Being able to visualize the tasks helps bring them to life. When I can see every small milestone in front of my face, it proves to me that I can do it step-by-step. Be sure to give yourself time and grace to tackle these milestones. If you’re not on a timeline due to an exterior force, you don’t need to create one for yourself. It may work for some to create a deadline, but if you’re here reading this, that likely doesn’t apply to you. Having a deadline can be just as daunting as having a big goal that you want to complete. Don’t feel the need to rush yourself. Create a list and check off those boxes one small task at a time. You’ll be amazed at how much you can get done when you’re breaking it down into small pieces.