As an individual with autism, maintaining routines is essential for me to stay grounded, but managing those routines can be challenging when you also have ADHD. Today, I’d like to share some of my past and present routines, highlighting what has worked for me—and what hasn’t.
Identify the Problem
When you struggle with ADHD, it can be challenging to do all the “adult things” that need to be done: housework, paying bills, childcare, and making time for self-care so you don’t burn out. It’s increasingly more difficult when both adults in the house struggle with this. The executive dysfunction is REAL in this house. Impulsivity can lead to distractions and difficulty staying focused on tasks, making it hard to adhere to a set schedule. However, having a routine is essential for us to maintain our emotional regulation. Routines also facilitate smoother transitions between activities and help better manage sensory sensitivities and social expectations. It’s important we don’t wear ourselves down and miss out on the important things in life. So, how did we get to finding a solid routine that doesn’t overwhelm us?
What Needs Done?
It’s simple: Mondays are for laundry. House chores have always posed a challenge for me, especially with the constant influx of furry friends leaving their mark in the form of dust bunnies. Thankfully, I have a wonderful partner who shares the responsibility of keeping our home clean and organized, as doing it alone often made it feel impossible to enjoy my space amidst the clutter. Together, we’ve divided tasks: I handle the kitchen, compost, tidying the living room, managing bedding, and deep-cleaning our rugs. Trust me, scraping the rugs for pet hair once a month is quite the task. My partner takes care of the floors, bathroom, trash, recycling, and yard maintenance for the pups. We collaborate on dishes and each manage our office spaces, but the most draining task is undoubtedly our own laundry.
Break it Down
Doing laundry has always been hard for me to accomplish because of how many steps it takes to complete. If you struggle with ADHD, I’m sure you can understand the overwhelming fear of the many steps involved—from gathering and sorting, to washing, drying, cleaning the lint trap, and finally, the chore that feels most formidable: folding. Every little step of this one task taunts me when it comes time to accomplish the overall act of doing laundry. It’s not always as simple as an allistic person might make it seem. I have helped myself conquer this mountain (sometimes literally a mountain of clothes) by doing laundry only on Mondays.
Break it Down… AGAIN
Every Monday, I will wash two loads of laundry. The four loads I am responsible for are my delicates, my “all clothes”, the bedding, and the towels. I tend to wash towels and bedding the same week and my clothes the next. Creating this routine and splitting the loads has helped me overcome the worry of keeping laundry clean. In the past, I would let clothes go until I ran out, and then I had a crazy amount of clothes to clean (and fold) which felt impossible and became all I could accomplish for the next two/three days. It would take so much energy to get me to fold my laundry.
Find Your Flow
In the past, I would clean when things got to be too much. I would wait until the dirty dishes piled in the sink or the dust coating the coffee table would shift when I sat down my coffee. I would have hair products, makeup products, and everything else cluttering the bathroom counter and my vanity. The doom boxes were everywhere! They still exist in the house, but they’re more strategically placed now. I’ll get to those… eventually. Each day of the week is assigned a certain task so that it doesn’t all pile up and become overwhelming just one day of the week. Sundays used to be the days where I panicked about the state of the house and had my breakdown over how disgusting I was for letting it get so bad.
Make it Work
Instead, my schedule has helped me clear through the frustrations and remind myself it’ll get done. So, what’s my schedule? I’ll tell you my secret! Mondays are for laundry (duh, we know this already). Tuesdays are for cleaning the kitchen and living room. Wednesdays are for cleaning the bedroom and changing the bedding. The bedding gets changed every other week, because this is also a very draining task for me to accomplish. Thursdays are reserved for organizing my closet and clearing my desk space. Fridays are FREE days! I don’t do any housework on Friday unless dishes need cleaned. This allows me to enjoy my weekend after a hard week of keeping the house clean. Of course, there are other tasks maintained for keeping a healthy home that are on a set schedule (like grocery shopping), but I won’t bore you with those.
Scheduling specific cleaning duties for specific days, complete with reminders, has transformed the way I approach housework, and I now find greater peace in my living environment. While life can still sometimes overwhelm me, and meltdowns do occur due to unexpected events, the consistent knowledge that Mondays are for laundry offers me a comforting anchor in my week.